Hot Blooded People
by starbuckmeggie
Summary: Walls are thin.


I walk into the dark apartment and sigh. Tonight was definitely not what I thought it was going to be. I look toward Monica's room and see that her light is already off. Can't even commiserate with her about my boring date.

I head into my room to get changed, whining to myself that it's only 9 o'clock on a Friday night, and I'm already at home—with a roommate who is apparently already asleep.

I flop down on my bed, and that's when I hear it—giggling. I whip my head around for a moment before realizing it's coming from the other side of my bedroom wall. Monica's giggling. In her sleep? A moment later, I hear her say…something. I can't really make out anything. Talking in her sleep?

I'm about to shrug it all off and go brush my teeth when I hear what is definitely a man's voice coming from Monica's room. Her secret boyfriend! He must be here! In a flash, I press my ear against the wall, desperate to hear more. Unfortunately, the voices are still muffled. Damn it!

Monica has been so tight-lipped about this guy that it's driving me crazy. Actually crazy. She won't bring him over, she won't get into detail about him, she won't even say how long she's been dating him.

Monica laughs again, louder this time, and I can hear her guy shush her, which seems to make her laugh louder. I hear him chuckle and say something, then there's silence.

I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed. Not that I really want to be a voyeur, but since she's said this guy is the greatest sex of her life, I would have thought there would be more action.

I sit down on my bed once more, and realize that I should probably give it a few minutes for the two of them to really fall asl—

I'm interrupted by my own thoughts when I hear Monica moan. Not very loudly, but definitely a moan. I mean, you don't share an apartment with someone for more than four years without being able to recognize your roommate's sex noises. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's a hazard of rooming with someone. Hell, I can even tell when she's faking—

Oh my.

Definitely not faking it now.

The noises coming out of her are…interesting.

I clear my throat and shift uncomfortably on my bed, realizing that I'm probably going to be stuck in here for a while. It's doubtful that they'd hear me wandering around the apartment at this point, but I don't know that I want to risk it.

I look around my room, desperately trying to find something to distract me from the goings-on in the next room, when it occurs to me that I can only hear Monica and not the guy. Either he's very quiet or he's—

Oh, God.

And now that image is in my head.

Unfortunately, with the show going on in Monica's room, that mental image is going absolutely no where.

Frantically, I dive for my bedside table, digging through the drawers for my Walkman, needing to find some way to block this out, when I remember that I lent them to Joey weeks ago.

Crap.

The sounds Monica is making are only getting louder, too. She sounds like Meg Ryan in that restaurant scene. I grab my pillow and shove it over my ears, hoping that this will end soon.

The pillow muffles it a bit, but not entirely.

Geez, she sounds like she's being murdered over there.

As disturbing as it is to hear, I can't help but be a little happy for her. Apparently, this guy really knows what he's doing. I never heard her make any noises like that when she was dating Richard.

Oh, God—I think I'm coming up on the grand finale. I press the pillow harder to my ears and close my eyes, hoping it will all be over soon.

Finally, I realize that things seem quiet, and I cautiously remove the pillow from my ears. Silence. I breathe a sigh of relief and look at the clock. Has it really only been twenty minutes since the moaning started? I would have said it was about a year.

I sit absolutely still for a minute. Still quiet. I realize then that I've been curled into a ball, waiting for it to end, so I slowly stretch out my compressed muscles.

That's when it starts again.

Seriously?

I look through my bedside table again—I have to have _something_ that will block the noise. A cotton ball? Ice pick? Anything will do at this point.

That's when I realize that I can now hear two sets of moans.

Well, that's a little more interesting. It shouldn't be, and I should be ashamed for listening in now, but I can't bring myself to be. Uncomfortable, yes. But if you're going to have really loud sex in an apartment you share with your roommate, you have to realize that sometimes said roommate is going to hear it. Even if she did think I was going to be out much later than I was.

I guess that would explain why she brought the guy over.

I mean, it's not technically my fault—I had no idea that guy was going to be _so boring_, but I guess she felt she had a larger window of time to get this guy in and out.

I pause, then chuckle to myself at that unintentional pun. Joey would be proud.

I realize then that I can hear a rhythmic thumping; apparently her headboard is getting quite the work out.

It's quite the trio of sound coming out of her room right now, actually. Between her moaning, the noises her guy is making, and the headboard now slamming against the wall, it sounds like a porno. Hell, if I didn't know that it was Monica's voice, I would honestly think it _was_ a porno.

Then, she starts talking.

I thought the moaning was bad. Now, she's thrown in an interesting mix of, "Yes!" and "Oh, God!" and "Right there!" with a few other more colorful words thrown in for variety.

Seriously, as disturbing as this is, I can objectively realize that this guy really must be something special because she has NEVER sounded anything like this. She wasn't kidding when she said this guy was the best sex ever. It makes me a little jealous that she's found someone to bring out the porn queen side of her.

Yeah…those noises aren't stopping. I look at the clock again. Damn, but this guy has stamina. It's now well past ten, and it doesn't sound like they are anywhere near a finishing point.

I sigh and scrunch down on my bed, pulling the pillow over my ears once more, hoping to keep some of the noise out. However, I guess the world sees that as some sort of challenge, because the volume next door seems to increase. The headboard seems to be hitting the wall more violently, I can suddenly hear this guy grunting, and—

OH MY GOD. Monica is screaming. She is actually screaming. I cannot handle this. I grab a second pillow and add it to the first, which helps to muffle the sound a bit more, but the sounds Monica is making right now are like nothing I've ever heard, and nothing I want to hear ever again.

Seriously—how long can this go on? I wouldn't think a body would be able to handle this sort of sustained assault, even if it is something enjoyable.

…I was mistaken before when I thought I was hearing the grand finale. I guess that was just the end of Act I because holy hell. Whatever is going on in Monica's room? THAT is a grand finale. I have never been so simultaneously grossed out and impressed in my entire life. I mean, it may be unsettling to know that it's Monica doing this, but it sounds like they're having a hell of time over there. I mean, who knew that Monica would be dating a sex GOD?

Cautiously, I let go of the pillows once more and, aside from some heavy breathing over there, it's quiet once more. I wait, still tense, praying that they don't go another round. I don't think I could handle it. Honestly, I don't think Monica could handle it.

My eyes fly open and I realize I'd fallen asleep. I look at the clock—It's three in the morning. I can hear people in the living room; it must have been Monica's door opening that woke me.

I've tiptoed over to my bedroom door to try to hear what's going before I mentally smack my forehead. Being nosy like this is what got me into trouble in the first place.

Fortunately, all I hear this time is the front door opening, then the quiet sound of two people kissing and murmuring to each other, and I have to smile a little. Despite what I heard earlier, Monica seems to really care for this guy. She's happier than I've seen in a long time, so that's really all that matters.

The front door closes quietly, and I wait until I hear Monica go back to her bedroom before climbing into bed myself. In the morning, I'll request that, if she's going to have this guy over again, to just let me know ahead of time.

Because I'll definitely be staying at Phoebe's.

*A/N…Hahaha! Bet you didn't see a Rachel POV coming! Neither did I, actually, until I was in my car last night and this little gem popped in to my head. Personally, I'm so amused with it, I can't stand myself. So, for all of the people who are not really into smut…sorry. For all the people who like smut…sorry.


End file.
